The Trap of Comparison in Motherhood & The Myth of Perfection

The other day, a friend commented to me, saying that if she had kids, I would be her role model. It was such a kind and flattering thing to hear, and I truly appreciated it. But it also got me thinking.

It made me reflect on the way we, as mothers, women, see each other—and ourselves. How often do we put other moms on pedestals, believing they’ve figured out something we haven’t? How often do we compare our struggles to someone else’s strengths?

The truth is, motherhood is one of the most rewarding yet challenging journeys we’ll ever take, and no one has it all figured out. We all have our good days and our bad ones. We all have moments of patience and moments of frustration. Yet, in a world where we’re constantly exposed to curated snapshots of parenting—whether through social media, in our communities, or even among friends—it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking we’re not doing enough or that someone else is doing it better.

We Are All Doing the Best We Can

At my core, I believe that every mother is doing the best she can with what she has, what she knows, and where she is in life.

We all have different backgrounds. Some of us grew up with present, nurturing parents, while others are trying to parent in ways they never experienced themselves. Some of us have strong support systems, while others are doing it mostly alone. Some of us struggle with anxiety, past traumas, or the weight of expectations that make motherhood feel even heavier.

And then there’s the fact that our children are different, too. No two kids are the same. What works for one mom might not work for another. What feels easy in one season of parenting can feel impossible in another. The challenges we face as moms aren’t just about us—they’re also about our kids, their personalities, their needs, and the unpredictable nature of life itself.

And yet, even knowing all of this, comparison creeps in.

The Myth of the "Perfect Mom"

It’s so easy to believe that other moms have it all figured out. We see the mom who effortlessly bakes homemade snacks, the one who calmly diffuses tantrums, the one whose kids always seem well-behaved, and we wonder: Why can’t I be more like her?

But let me tell you the truth: no one is that perfect all the time.

Not me. Not you. Not the mom who looks like she has it all together.

Me? I’m not the picture-perfect mom. I don’t always sing my way through tantrums. I don’t always bake organic muffins with a smile. I don’t always stay calm and patient. I don’t always have my life together.

My kids? They aren’t always respectful. They don’t always regulate their emotions in a proper way. They don’t always practice gratitude, even though I’ve tried to instill it in them.

I have had moments where my kids don’t want to talk to me. I’ve had days when I struggled to hold a boundary because I was exhausted, and it was easier to give in. I’ve had nights where I’ve laid in bed questioning myself, wondering if I did the right thing, if I was too hard or too soft, if I was enough.

Motherhood is messy. It’s imperfect. It’s full of contradictions. One day you feel like you’ve got it all under control, and the next, you’re counting the minutes until bedtime.

Your Journey is Yours Alone

So, to every mom who has ever looked at another and thought, She’s doing it better than I am—please hear me when I say this:

Your journey is yours alone.

You don’t have to mother like anyone else. You don’t have to fit into some impossible mold of perfection. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.

The best mom for your child is you—with all your strengths, your imperfections, your love, and your willingness to learn and grow.

Instead of comparing, let’s start embracing our unique journeys. Let’s show ourselves grace on the hard days and celebrate ourselves on the good ones. Let’s remember that just because someone else’s motherhood looks different doesn’t mean ours is any less meaningful or beautiful.

And maybe, just maybe, the next time we find ourselves admiring another mom, we can let that admiration inspire us rather than make us feel less than. Because at the end of the day, we’re all in this together, learning as we go, one imperfect, beautiful moment at a time.

Have you ever caught yourself comparing your journey to someone else’s? What helps you break free from the trap of comparison? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts. 💛

Love Always,

Sarah